Here's the deal:
Solid State Drive = boot time is 9 seconds.
Windows 8 = I don't like the Metro Interface so instead I use "Rainmeter" to make my desktop look cool.
Shortly after getting the desktop I set my laptop in a place where a sippy cup of water could overturn and leave a puddle under it and soak the harddrive for at least a whole day. Ruined the hard drive. Currently the laptop is a brick. Not so happy about that but no appreciable data loss, so there's that.
First world problem to be sure.