Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Friday, May 25, 2007

The Deluxe Car Crib

Every parent knows that even the fussiest child will fall asleep quickly when riding in the car.

But have you had your sleeping child wake up when you remove them from the car seat to take them to their crib and then continue to be fussy?

Are you short on space in the house for a crib?

Why not just leave the child in the car in the garage where they can sleep peacefully while you climb into your own bed inside and enjoy the peace and quiet?

Introducing:

the Deluxe Car Crib

from your friends at the Panic Blog, inventors of the Coq Ring chicken snack.

The Deluxe Car Crib features a video and audio baby monitor so that mom and dad or mom and "uncle" can safely monitor the child.

It also has a CO detector and an ambient temperature gauge to monitor the safety and comfort of the garage while your little bundle of joy slumbers.

The seat has a patented moisture level and seat temperature alarm for detecting when a diaper change is necessary.

Plus this ingenious innovation in infant care has quick latch straps, easily washable fabric, stereo speakers, an iPod dock, and a cup holder.

Easily accommodates children from birth to 12 years old.

** New Model just introduced:

The Deluxe Car Crib "Tricked Out Edition" which includes a 9" LCD video screen, DVD player, digital satellite tv tuner, and TiVo (so the little tyke never misses an episode of Dora The Explorer).

Act now and receive two "grillz" pacifiers with every order!!

Order yours today!!


The Deluxe Car Crib is not suitable for parents without a heated garage or really for any responsible parent. The only advantage to leaving your children in the garage overnight is to save closet space and money on NyQuil. The Deluxe Car Crib is, in fact, simply a figment of my imagination. Any similarity to a real product, living or dead, is coincidental.



----

photo combined from:

CO Detector: http://www.sorion-group.com
Baby Monitor:
http://www.untangledlife.com/
Moisture Detector:
http://www.gardco.com/
Child Safety Seat:
http://www.easywaysafetyservices.com/
Speakers: http://www.netsearchjamaica.com/

Monday, May 21, 2007

Clay Technique Practice

All of these were opportunites to practice technique and not at all perfect.

First is mother of pearl inlay attempt next to an image transfer using liquid clay.



Second are crosses all with various methods of mokume-gane. I particulary like how the black and red cross came out when polished to look nearly like glass. I also like the black marble which is black clay and white oil paint all layered and deformed.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Sold My Car Today, Happy Dance!


Goodbye Hyundai, you served me well.

Hello Explorer, just in time for high summertime gas prices!

Yay!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

On A Mission From JC

No, not Jesus Christ but one of his representatives: John Cowart.

John's been a long time visitor and I have always appreciated his supportive comments.

Here are the rules of the meme: Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged write a blog post about their own 8 random things and post these rules. At the end of your blog you need to tag 8 people and post their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

I'm not going to tag anyone but here are my eight things:

1. I hate food which has been stored in ZipLoc bags. I can smell the plastic odor on whatever the food is (well at least porous foods). I have been mocked but it's the cross I bear.

2. For someone who is not at all religious, I take as many opportunities as I reasonably can to improve my religious literacy. It used to be so I could argue with true believers more effectively but now it's so that I know the rules of the game and understand cultural references. I am still woefully ignorant but every little piece of knowledge helps. For instance, I find the story of Shadrach, Meshack, and the Indigo Girls very comforting (in a Lilith Fair kind of way).

3. I am a third generation Alaskan yet I have very few Alaskan skills. I don't hunt, I don't fish, I don't climb mountains, I don't camp, I don't ski, I can barely ice skate. I'd be the worst tour guide for guests visiting my state. The best I could do would be to point them in the right direction to actually see something Alaskan. Oh and warn them of which parts of Los Anchorage they would be most apt to be accosted by a hooker or crack dealer.

4. My favorite outdoor activity is basketball. I suppose one could play that indoors but unless there was snow on the ground I can't see the point. I am so woefully out of shape and haven’t played in years though.

5. Along those lines I'm currently trying to seriously lose weight for the first time in my big fat life. I'd whine about it but it's my fault for being where I am, so there we go. So far, so good. I'm about three weeks into it and have lost 15 lbs. I still have the equivalent of more than an Olsen twin to go though so it's slow work.

6. I listen to a ton of audiobooks but that's because I find it very difficult to sit down and read a book these days. Some folks have accused me of ADHD but I think that would be a cop-out. I'm not saying ADHD isn't real (although I'm sort of an agnostic on that topic as well as the whole God thing).

7. I really hate MySpace but I've reconnected with friends through it, there so there's that. I still hate it. I'm not even sure why.

8. As much as I hate MySpace, I love blogs. I enjoy writing this one and I enjoy reading other blogs. I have to reorganize this one though. I think I might do a wholesale template change on it. The darkness isn't really what this thing is about. It's really not what I'm about (although I still like skeletons for reasons I don't quite understand). We'll see.

Like I said, I'm not tagging anyone else but I appreciate John for dragging me out of my blog-funk. Hopefully this will inspire me to post more frequently.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Frozen

There are so many obvious topics out there for blog posts but, other than commenting on The Smussyolay, I haven’t tackled any of them because I frankly don't know exactly how I feel about them.

I usually discover what lies beneath my initial reaction to something when I write about it so it's probably a good idea to weigh in, more for me than for you, but I'm stymied.

Here are the things I can't wrap my head around:

The War in Iraq. I'm not happy we are there yet I don't see a way to gracefully get out. We've started something I fear we cannot end with any nobility. Die Every Day vs. Cut And Run. We've lost the hearts and minds of most Iraqis and probably most people in the world. I think I can tell you what ideals America used to stand for; I don't know what we stand for now. I'm lost too.

Virginia Tech. I love "breaking news" but I hate wild, completely reckless speculation presented as news. I was getting an I/M test on my new car (used SUV so perhaps I'm responsible for us being in Iraq, but I digress) first thing in the morning of the shooting and saw the coverage in the Jiffy Lube waiting room (there is no local branch of Greasers Automotive so I couldn't go there instead). I was riveted. Yet it was mostly speculation between tiny pieces of actual fact and it ventured into these far-ranging political discussions. As for the facts which emerged since: I cannot think of any reasonable legislation which would have prevented this terrible event from happening. I'll write more about that later.

Hurricane Katrina. What? Wasn't that years ago? Yes, and I still have a hard time believing just how shabbily we treat our own citizens. There were unforgivable acts of commission and omission that took place in New Orleans prior to and during that tragedy. I don't believe there was any vast governmental conspiracy but I do believe there was vast governmental corruption and ineptitude and it cost people their lives. And it will happen again. And again. And again.

Within all of these topics there are rays of hope: acts of courage, bravery, compassion, generosity, and love. Yet I find myself overwhelmed by the bigger picture, the overall tragedy.

Sometimes it's hard to appreciate the warmth when your house is burning down.