Thursday, August 11, 2005

Dear Ad Execs at Burger King

Dear Sirs:

Thank you in advance for considering my idea for a new product line.

I appreciated your consideration of my most recently submitted Burger King tag line “We’ve been microwaving your food since the 1970’s” and I have the framed rejection letter hanging on the wall of my cubicle at work.

I am a great admirer of your Coq Roq advertising campaign and I have a humble, albeit likely very popular and profitable, addition to suggest.

If you can make formed chicken pieces into luscious fried sticks and call them “Chicken Fries” why not tie in a second new product and explode the formed chicken market?

Here’s the pitch: formed circles of chicken, breaded, fried and served like your onion rings. Here’s the hook: call them -

COQ RINGS!




Now there’s an advertising gimmick sure to draw international attention: free publicity while FOXNews and MSNBC pundits ask about morality and decency.

I predict you will overtake the dreaded M-word and again reign as the true King of Burgers.

Thank you again for your time.

Eric A. Anderson
The Panic Blog

photo courtesy of: http://www.appetizer.com/appetizer/products/breaded_or.htm

11 comments:

john cowart said...

The sign boasts: Over 20,000,000 burgers sold!

Pretty soon they will have to kill their second cow.

Hotpants said...

and have you seen those horrible commercials? the thrash metal band ala chicken heads?

AHHHH!

J-bro said...

Do you get special sauce for your coq rings?

xtx said...

fucking BRILLIANT!

No_Newz said...

LMFAO! Best. Idea. Ever!
Don't forget me when you are the rich and famous coq ring king.
Lois Lane

OldGuy said...

Sounds like a fantastic idea, hopefully they'll go for it !

Burger King said...

Burger King Corporation receives many ideas and suggestions from persons outside our organization. However, we spend a great deal of time, money and effort toward the development and implementation of new services, products, techniques and equipment, which we have used or may use in the future. In view of this, it is not surprising that many of the suggestions made to us from outside our company are already known or available to us through the efforts of our staff. While we appreciate your interest in presenting an idea or suggestion to us, it is Burger King Corporation's policy not to accept or review any unsolicted idea or suggestion. We do this in order to avoid any possible confusion or misunderstanding regarding the ownership of an idea or submission.

Eric said...

John: hilarious

Hotpants: yes, bad bad bad I hate burger king anyway

J-bro: personally, i would get my coq rings without sauce, but you do what you like

xTx: thank you

Lois: Oh, to be the Coq Ring King. Just to have someone ask someone else "Who's Eric" and have the response be "um, I think he, like, invented the Coq Ring." Magical

Old Guy: thank you, they never would I'm surprised they even got Coq Roq past any of their screener groups

Burger King: okay, i cut and pasted that out of their site when i found they dont accept email messages.

taughnee said...

Coq Ring ... baaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha.

April said...

LOL. too funny.

Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! » » »