I Don’t Know Much About Song Lyrics

I’m a smart guy. Ask me, I’ll tell you.

But every time I think I’m especially smart, it becomes crushingly obvious that I don’t know shit from Shinola.


This morning I’m singing in the shower (not loud, we live in a duplex) the Queensryche version of Scarborough Fair. Geoff Tate has such a great voice. I don’t. Yet I sing on.


So my genius idea was, instead of the traditional second line of the song, replace it with

“Lord won’t you buy her a Mercedes Benz;
parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme;
Her friends all have Porsches, I must make amends;
then she’ll be a true love of mine.”

It works. Okay, not exactly genius, but it works.

So there’s where the ignorance smacked me in the face like a loufa (or a falafel, if you are in the no spin zone).

I remember those “background lyrics” in the Simon and Garfunkel song which are not in the Queensryche version. All I remember is something like:

“Tell her to make me a cambric shirt
(blah blah blah blah blah, deep forest green),
Parsely, sage, rosemary,
and thyme…”

Of course this would translate to:

Lord won’t you buy her a Mercedes Benz
(blah blah blah blah blah rich leather seats)
Parsely, sage, rosemary,
and thyme…”

But to alter the lyrics, I had to find out the real lyrics. And was amazed at the darkness found within.

Here are the lyrics (as found on the internet):

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.
Remember me to one who lives there,
she was once a true love of mine.

Tell her to make me a cambric shirt
(On the side of a hill in the deep forest green).
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme
(Tracing a sparrow on snow-crested ground).
Without no seams nor needlework
(Blankets and bedclothes the child of the mountain).
Then she'll be a true love of mine
(Sleeps unaware of the clarion call).

Tell her to find me an acre of land
(On the side of a hill, a sprinkling of leaves).
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme
(Washes the ground with so many tears).
Between salt water and the sea strand
(A soldier cleans and polishes a gun).
Then she'll be a true love of mine.

Tell her to reap it in a sickle of leather
(War bellows, blazing in scarlet battalions).
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme
(Generals order their soldiers to kill).
And gather it all in a bunch of heather
(And to fight for a cause they've long ago forgotten).
Then she'll be a true love of mine.

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.
Remember me to one who lives there,
she was once a true love of mine.

Does anyone know about this second part? Is it a canticle in the sense of a Catholic sacred song?

This is the crap that will keep me up late at night. Oh yeah and finding the third and fourth songs to throw into the mix before going back to the repeat of the first verse.