Sunday, April 24, 2005

Quickies in a hotel

All true, I was there.

From the hotel job:

Two of my coworkers were talking to each other about their favorite soap opera. One said to the other: “Well I just knew Melinda wasn’t really Victor’s daughter, they don’t even look alike!”

I worked with an otherwise knowledgeable and intelligent woman who believed thunder was the sound of two clouds colliding in the sky.

I worked with a woman who believed mice had no bones (which explained how they could get into tight spaces).

I worked with a man who used the word “spost” in a written document. For example: “You are spost to call home later.”

When Spectravision was installed in the hotel there was one television that allowed members of the athletic club to view the movies for free, in the library of their private restaurant. One night the security guards caught a dishwasher from the silver room up in the library watching that half-porn garbage and polishing... well, more than the silver. The guard, who was a straight-laced Tongan man of incredible bulk, said "You - you - stop that!" The dishwasher's only response was a meek "I can't." After finishing his self abuse, the dishwasher was fired.