Have you ever been awoken by a smell? Tonight it happened for the second time in my life.
The first time was last summer when our youngest dog, Sugar Baby, had Hemorrhagic Gastroenteritis. Yes, for you fans of medical terminology that involves blood and guts (literally).
Side note: I almost never use the word “literally” any more. I cringe when I hear it misused so I avoid it a most costs.
The smell of Sugar’s … um, red rear gravy … woke us both up from a dead sleep. Kelli gagged so hard that she was hoarse for days. I was equally sickened but fought through it to clean it up. We then went to the animal hospital. $1500 and several days later she was good as new.
Tonight just before midnight, two hours after I had gone to sleep (party animal that I am), I awoke to a similar but different smell. No blood but it was as if a dog had pooped on my pillow. I checked my pillow and, luckily, no poop there.
Further investigation revealed that beside the bed was a pull-up diaper full of poop.
The diaper was originally around the rear end of our oldest dog, Bailey. Bailey likes to sleep on the bed with us and her diabetes plus her age (nearly 9) has lead to a certain amount of nighttime incontinence. Yes, my dog has peed my bed enough times that we diaper her each night. Usually she manages to wake us up to let her outside if she feels the need to “go number two.”
I am glad for the diaper; it made clean-up a breeze. A retched-smelling breeze, but a breeze nonetheless. Lucky for me there was no big mess to clean off of her body to make the evening complete. Sure, babies get messy all the time and mothers and fathers have to clean that up at all hours, but except for the parents of Robin Williams there usually isn’t a great deal of hair to deal with down in the diaper area.
So yes, after cleaning up the diaper, I had to spot-check (pardon the pun) my dog’s hiney for more mess. I’m the dog’s ass monitor.
All of you out there in the blogosphere who have pets that are maintenance-free: enjoy it while it lasts. To the parents of tiny diapered humans out there: I feel a tiny bit of your pain.
To everyone else: isn’t “Red Rear Gravy” a great name for a band?
9 comments:
Doubt I'd want to wear that name on a t-shirt...
Glad that the "end" results were easily handled.
I'm pretty retentive, as my family will readily testify to, so I keep a tub of baby wipes everywhere for such occasions where my dog might not be as fastidiously clean as I would prefer.
There is a tub of wipes right by the back door, there is a tub of wipes open in my bathroom, there is a tub of wipes in a "emergency / tool " supply box in the back of my Eco-Killer SUV.
When I walk my dog, I carry my pooper scooper bag(s), and wipes.
My dog has full run of the entire house, the last thing I want is him rubbing his diarty butt all over my chouch, bed, or pillow, or worse.
{I can't imagine worse right now so I'll leave it at that...}
The reason I bring all this up.... if you don't help to wipe your dog, and I often do, your dog will most likely lick himself / herself clean on their own, unless they are elderly and/or physically unable.
Think about that next time:
A} Someone tells you that a dogs mouth is cleaner than a humans
B) your dog comes and gives you a big wet slobber tongue lick on your face.
YIKES!
J-bro
Our black lab, Sheba, lived with us for 17 years.
Towards the end of her life, she had a stroke and for months before she recovered, we had to lift her head to hand feed her with bread sops soaked in milk and give the sort of care you talk about.
Hard to believe, but there came a day when I reguarded such service as a privledge.
Sheba's been dead about four years now.
I miss her.
If you are the "ass monitor", e, then I am the "poo police". Our adorable mutt, Marley (aka "The Charlo") is also getting up there in age (he's 10 1/2). So, I always ask my husband things like, "did you see him poop?" or "what was the color/consistency of said poop?". My hubby is NOT the poo police, as he invariably reminds me. Therefore, it falls on me to make sure everything is "coming out" okay.
p.s. Marley is going in for surgery Friday to have a cancerous tumor removed from his side. Send some good vibes our way!!
The best of vibes to Marley and to you.
Luckily my wife and I share the poop patrolling duties (doodies?). I never thought I'd be happy to see a firm tan stool drop from my dog's butt, yet that's a good day's patrol.
Most of us have dogs in lieu of children, and in essence, since they never outgrow that child like behaviour, they are always children.
It isn't a matter of weird lunacy, it is instead the love, near what one would have for human children.
{I don't have to pay for braces or college, although I've paid my fair share of vet bills.....}
J-bro
hey J-bro
I echo your sentiments completely!
From Eric's original post and your follow-up comment, I can see that some people feel EXACTLY the same way about their dogs as I do.
I have no human kids. Marley has been my kid for 10 years. And I tend to get snarky with my kid-havin' friends who don't see a remote parallel between my experience (and love) and theirs.
I know what you mean Jen.
I have pictures of my dog with santa for every year since I got him as a puppy. :)
J-bro
My dog's anal sac's were infected for a month. I had to clean them drained every week for a month and apply a warm compress to the "area" twice a week. It is amazing that things that we will do for our babies (pets) It is hard to believe that there was a time when you were indifferent about pets and the problems that people you knew were having with their babies. Didn't you laugh at your brother before? NO I mean about his dog ?
Traci
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