BONG HiTS 4 JESUS

If you have read/seen the news today you might have noticed that the United States Supreme Court ruled against a Juneau, Alaska high school student who believed his First Amendment right to free speech was abridged by his Principal.

Here is the decision if you wish to read it: Morse v. Frederick (from ADN.com).

With apologies to my relatives in Juneau who are better versed on the facts of the case, here are the details I deem pertinent: The Olympic Torch was being run through the streets of our state's capitol. Since it was a relatively historic occasion, Juneau Douglas High School decided to let the kids go witness this event during school hours. Oh yeah, TV cameras were covering the whole thing. At this event a high school student (Frederick) held up a 14 foot banner stating "BONG HiTS 4 JESUS" which was easily visible to the cameras.

"Stating" is not the right word since "BONG HiTS 4 JESUS" is not a statement; it's gibberish. It was designed by the student as gibberish provocative enough to cause a reaction and get on TV. It did and it did. The principal (Morse) confiscated the sign and suspended the student.

I'm a very strong advocate of the freedom of speech and I'm all "let the kids dance" regarding school issues generally but I'm not at all displeased with this decision.

The principal stated that it was the "bong hits" which she deemed a pro-drug message which caused her to confiscate the sign. Others suggest she is a Christian Conservative who was all bent out of shape about the "Jesus" part of the sign. I say: who cares.

Either way Mr. Frederick, you embarrassed your school at a quasi-school event. You should have been suspended. Your sign should have been confiscated.

Similar to Don Imus, if your inappropriate actions embarrass your boss (or your school) there should be consequences - not criminal consequences, just administrative consequences. There is a huge difference.

The First Amendment is essential to our freedom but it is not a free pass to do as you please at all times.

I cannot, for example, wear a "Fuck The Police" shirt at work. First, the language is unacceptable in a professional work environment. If I cleaned up the language it would still be inappropriate, no matter whether it was cleaned up literally or figuratively.

"Have Intercourse With The Police" might be a way of life for some of my coworkers but the statement on a garment would still would falls short of professionalism. "Question The Authority Of The Police" would also not be a great statement to wear at work. My boss, who by the way IS THE GOVERNMENT (just like a school district) has every right to administratively step on my neck if I wear such a shirt at work or even with a group of coworkers at a police sponsored event. Heck, I'm not supposed to shop in my uniform, even if on the way to or from work. Luckily I wouldn't dream of such a thing since I look a little like Boss Hogg wearing Roscoe P. Coultrane's clothes wearing my light blue uniform.

Mr. Frederick is attending college and I wish him well. I'm sure he is disappointed that the U.S. Supreme Court ruled against him but I think he should be happy that they did not have to power to lay some real justice on him: sentence him to a career in secondary school administration.

Please weigh in.

Frozen

There are so many obvious topics out there for blog posts but, other than commenting on The Smussyolay, I haven’t tackled any of them because I frankly don't know exactly how I feel about them.

I usually discover what lies beneath my initial reaction to something when I write about it so it's probably a good idea to weigh in, more for me than for you, but I'm stymied.

Here are the things I can't wrap my head around:

The War in Iraq. I'm not happy we are there yet I don't see a way to gracefully get out. We've started something I fear we cannot end with any nobility. Die Every Day vs. Cut And Run. We've lost the hearts and minds of most Iraqis and probably most people in the world. I think I can tell you what ideals America used to stand for; I don't know what we stand for now. I'm lost too.

Virginia Tech. I love "breaking news" but I hate wild, completely reckless speculation presented as news. I was getting an I/M test on my new car (used SUV so perhaps I'm responsible for us being in Iraq, but I digress) first thing in the morning of the shooting and saw the coverage in the Jiffy Lube waiting room (there is no local branch of Greasers Automotive so I couldn't go there instead). I was riveted. Yet it was mostly speculation between tiny pieces of actual fact and it ventured into these far-ranging political discussions. As for the facts which emerged since: I cannot think of any reasonable legislation which would have prevented this terrible event from happening. I'll write more about that later.

Hurricane Katrina. What? Wasn't that years ago? Yes, and I still have a hard time believing just how shabbily we treat our own citizens. There were unforgivable acts of commission and omission that took place in New Orleans prior to and during that tragedy. I don't believe there was any vast governmental conspiracy but I do believe there was vast governmental corruption and ineptitude and it cost people their lives. And it will happen again. And again. And again.

Within all of these topics there are rays of hope: acts of courage, bravery, compassion, generosity, and love. Yet I find myself overwhelmed by the bigger picture, the overall tragedy.

Sometimes it's hard to appreciate the warmth when your house is burning down.

The Burning Flesh Smell Of Branding

But not in a creepy way.

My fair city just paid $30,000 to develop a new "brand" to advertise itself and is spending an additional $200,000 to start pimping the hell out of this brand.

The old brand was: Wild About Anchorage. They had a cute jingle and cartoon animals including Seymour the Moose. It was the 80's and I was an occasional badass babysitter*… ah the memories.

Anyway, here's the brand they came up with for a mere $30,000 of my tax dollars:

Big. Wild. Life.

No kidding, check it out HERE. (Seriously, have a look at the logo, I'd reprint it here but someone might complain - copyrights and all.)

Notice the red color splash behind the words. It looks like the splat mark made when you smash a mosquito. Well, okay, so that would be appropriate.

I would categorize the $10,000 per word brand as an incredibly bad choice if not for the town they had to work with.

Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser is wide-ranging but this point struck home: all the franchising in this country has served to drain most of the local flavor from each town. Los Anchorage is a prime example. Our newest feature and soon to be the hottest spot in town? Target. Yep. That's it. Target.

This is my home and I'm happy to live here but I'm not exactly sure why anyone would like to move here. There are a lot of funky little towns in Alaska and, while I wouldn't actually want to move to one, I can see the appeal of moving to one of those: wilderness, solitude, peace and quiet, etc. Los Anchorage… well…

Our civic leaders would like you to believe that Anchorage has all the advantages of a big city but retains the small-town feel and beauty of the rest of Alaska. This is not an entirely false premise but it overlooks the fact that we have our share of big city problems plus the bonus of being far enough away from the rest of the world that everything here is less available and more expensive.

Far be it for me to criticize without offering alternatives, humble as they may be.

Tell me some of your ideas!!

* Shoutout to Lyndsay, her mom, and her seeester!

Photo:

TBone Branding Iron