BONG HiTS 4 JESUS

If you have read/seen the news today you might have noticed that the United States Supreme Court ruled against a Juneau, Alaska high school student who believed his First Amendment right to free speech was abridged by his Principal.

Here is the decision if you wish to read it: Morse v. Frederick (from ADN.com).

With apologies to my relatives in Juneau who are better versed on the facts of the case, here are the details I deem pertinent: The Olympic Torch was being run through the streets of our state's capitol. Since it was a relatively historic occasion, Juneau Douglas High School decided to let the kids go witness this event during school hours. Oh yeah, TV cameras were covering the whole thing. At this event a high school student (Frederick) held up a 14 foot banner stating "BONG HiTS 4 JESUS" which was easily visible to the cameras.

"Stating" is not the right word since "BONG HiTS 4 JESUS" is not a statement; it's gibberish. It was designed by the student as gibberish provocative enough to cause a reaction and get on TV. It did and it did. The principal (Morse) confiscated the sign and suspended the student.

I'm a very strong advocate of the freedom of speech and I'm all "let the kids dance" regarding school issues generally but I'm not at all displeased with this decision.

The principal stated that it was the "bong hits" which she deemed a pro-drug message which caused her to confiscate the sign. Others suggest she is a Christian Conservative who was all bent out of shape about the "Jesus" part of the sign. I say: who cares.

Either way Mr. Frederick, you embarrassed your school at a quasi-school event. You should have been suspended. Your sign should have been confiscated.

Similar to Don Imus, if your inappropriate actions embarrass your boss (or your school) there should be consequences - not criminal consequences, just administrative consequences. There is a huge difference.

The First Amendment is essential to our freedom but it is not a free pass to do as you please at all times.

I cannot, for example, wear a "Fuck The Police" shirt at work. First, the language is unacceptable in a professional work environment. If I cleaned up the language it would still be inappropriate, no matter whether it was cleaned up literally or figuratively.

"Have Intercourse With The Police" might be a way of life for some of my coworkers but the statement on a garment would still would falls short of professionalism. "Question The Authority Of The Police" would also not be a great statement to wear at work. My boss, who by the way IS THE GOVERNMENT (just like a school district) has every right to administratively step on my neck if I wear such a shirt at work or even with a group of coworkers at a police sponsored event. Heck, I'm not supposed to shop in my uniform, even if on the way to or from work. Luckily I wouldn't dream of such a thing since I look a little like Boss Hogg wearing Roscoe P. Coultrane's clothes wearing my light blue uniform.

Mr. Frederick is attending college and I wish him well. I'm sure he is disappointed that the U.S. Supreme Court ruled against him but I think he should be happy that they did not have to power to lay some real justice on him: sentence him to a career in secondary school administration.

Please weigh in.

Let Your Freak Flag Fly !!

Bill would ban anatomically explicit vehicle decorations in Maryland

Updated: 2:14 p.m. HT Feb 23, 2007

ANNAPOLIS, Md. - Fake bull testicles and other anatomically explicit vehicle decorations would be banned from Maryland roads under a bill pending in the state legislature.

The measure was filed in the General Assembly on Monday by Delegate LeRoy E. Myers Jr., who says children shouldn't be exposed to giant plastic gonads dangling from pickup truck trailer hitches. The bill also would ban displaying images of naked human breasts, buttocks or genitals, with offenses punishable by fines of up to $500.

"It's time to take a stand," Myers told The (Hagerstown) Herald-Mail.

This bill died of on its own after the bad publicity but it reminds me of the benefits of freedom of speech.

I firmly believe that people should have the right to hang plastic testicles from their vehicles. I also believe that people should proudly display their Grillz.

You know why?

I could engage everyone I meet in meaningful conversation, observe their actions, and, after a sufficient period of observation, render an opinion on that person's character.

Or…

I could take one look at a set of plastic testicles or a flashy set of Grillz and immediately judge that person to be, at best, an idiot.

As a fundamentally lazy guy I appreciate folks who display their plastic testicles proudly. Brave men and women fought for your right to cling to Junior High humor long into adulthood.

I'd rant more but I've got to put that last eBay bid on the pair of platform "pimp boots" with the fish tanks in the heels. I wouldn’t want MY freedom of speech to go to waste.

MSNBC story
Followup NBC4 story
Grillz Guy
Grillz Models
Bumper Nuts
Pimp Costumes: Boots