Bathroom Sex Scandal Ruined My Life

Not my life but this lady’s life.

DesMoines Register, Staci Hupp Shupp@dmreg.com, November 26, 2008

A Carroll woman who was caught having sex in the men's room at an Iowa Hawkeye football game in Minneapolis last weekend says she’d had so much wine before kickoff that she doesn’t remember walking into the restroom, the man she had sex with in a stall, or when the police opened the door.

What L--- F------, 38, will remember is the humiliation afterward.

“It’s ruined my life,” she said through tears today. “Not just the incident but the press.”

F------, a married mother of three, has been the target of Internet jokes and prank telephone calls today. She was fired this morning from an assisted living center, where she had been an administrator.

F------ said her husband, K----, has been supportive. She said he faults himself for not going with her when she left her seat to use the restroom before halftime.

“I don’t know what happened,” L--- F------ said. “But I don’t deny that it did happen because obviously there are police reports.”

Police ticketed F------, 38, and R--- W----, 26, of Linden for indecent conduct Saturday night.

A security guard who said he saw the two having sex through a gap in a men’s restroom stall flagged down campus police, according to the police report.

By the time an officer arrived, about a dozen people were cheering and laughing in the bathroom while F------ and W---- were inside the stall, the report said.

The officer pushed his way through the crowd, opened the door and separated F------ and W----, the report said.

Police described both F------ and W---- as upset, drunk and uncooperative.

Chuck Miner, deputy chief of the University of Minnesota police department, said officers tracked down F------’s husband.

“I’m not sure how they made contact with her husband, but they needed her husband to help identify her” because she’d given the wrong middle name.

Miner said police didn’t measure the blood-alcohol level of F------ or W----. Asked to respond to F------’s claim that she was too drunk to recall the incident, Miner said: “That’s probably an accurate statement.”

F------ said she’d never met W----.

“I don’t know who this man is,” she said today. “I just found out his name in the paper last night.”

W---- wasn’t immediately available for comment.

Carroll, F------’s hometown, is about 60 miles northwest of Linden, where W---- lives.

F------, who describes herself as a light drinker, drank wine at the home of family friends before the football game.

She said she doesn’t remember how much she drank, but the party’s hosts refilled her glass each time it was low “so I’m sure I drank a lot.”

F------ said her husband later told her he’d tried to talk her out of the game because she was intoxicated.

“He said I didn’t realize it was that bad,” she said.

F------ said her husband accompanied her to the game, but their friends stayed home.

She said she remembers sitting in the stands one moment and the next “being slammed around by a cop and screaming.”

“Apparently I was panicked and very uncooperative,” she said.

F------ said she “ran away” from her husband [at] the Metrodome after the incident.

She said a woman she didn’t know offered her a ride home about 11 p.m.

F------ said she gave her husband’s cell phone number to the woman, who called K---- F------ for directions to the couple’s hotel.

L--- F------ said her attorney has encouraged her to fight the ticket.

“He feels I was taken advantage of in my state of mind,” she said. “This is not me. We’re a very good family. This shouldn’t happen.”

Miner, the campus police officer, said fighting the indecent conduct charge could be a long shot.

“It’s spelled out in the law in Minnesota that intoxication is not a defense to any crime,” he said.

I redacted the names to protect the guilty but I have questions.

In my jurisdiction if you have sex with someone who is too intoxicated to consent then you are a dirty, dirty rapist (you would be shocked how many recruits I’ve had to explain this to in detail because they believe if you get drunk you deserve what you get).

So is R--- W--- a rapist? And if not, why not? And even if there’s a possibility of such why on Earth would the paper publish the victim’s name? There are rape-shield laws about that kind of thing.

Evidently the police have ruled out this possibility.

Ladies and Gentlemen, if your potential sex partner is very intoxicated and is a stranger, or you intend to claim he/she is a stranger, JUST SAY NO. You don’t want any part of that action and you don’t want to be considered a date-rapist.

Next

How often does L--- F------ blackout from drinking? Shouldn’t she get some serious help? She could have conceivably been charged with assault on a police officer. She also fled from her husband and ended up getting a ride with another stranger. So she’s still in danger at that point.

And while she states that her husband blames himself and she doesn’t blame him… um. She blames a lot of other people.

She said she doesn’t remember how much she drank, but the party’s hosts refilled her glass each time it was low “so I’m sure I drank a lot.”

F------ said her husband later told her he’d tried to talk her out of the game because she was intoxicated.

“He said I didn’t realize it was that bad,” she said.

L--- F------ said her attorney has encouraged her to fight the ticket.

“He feels I was taken advantage of in my state of mind,” she said. “This is not me. We’re a very good family. This shouldn’t happen.”

It shouldn’t have happened, she’s right about that. She shouldn’t have drank so much, her husband shouldn’t have taken her to the game, she shouldn’t have hooked up with the guy in the restroom, he shouldn’t have hooked up with her.

And what about her kids?

I hate to blame the victim here but I’m willing to bet there’s more to this story.

--

and here's a little more, but still something stinks.

Woman in Metrodome sex incident says she was victim

By

Friday, November 28, 2008, Daily Times Herald


MINNEAPOLIS - While police say a high-profile indecent conduct case in the Minneapolis Metrodome Saturday is closed, a Carroll woman involved in it told the Daily Times Herald she believes she was a victim of foul play rather than a willing collaborator.

L--- F------, 38, of Carroll, and R---. W----, 26, of Linden, were ticketed for indecent conduct after they were reportedly caught engaging in sexual activity in a Metrodome men's restroom handicapped stall during the University of Minnesota Golden Gophers game with the Iowa Hawkeyes. More than a dozen people in the restroom were cheering F------ and W---- by the time authorities arrived, a University of Minnesota Police report says.

F------ acknowledged drinking heavily before the game and says she doesn't remember being in the bathroom.

"I would never ever do that," F------ said. "My kids are my life. I go to church every Sunday."

Information obtained in police reports and during an interview with University of Minnesota Police Chief Greg Hestness revealed no suggestion or evidence that the incident was anything but consensual on the part of both W---- and F------.

But F------ tells the Daily Times Herald she may have been drugged or otherwise victimized.

"Everybody thinks something got put in my drink," F------ said.

She offers no further details as to how that might have happened or who may have been involved.

"Right, and that's what my attorney and I are working on," F------ said.

You Stoner Idiot

Alaska is a very liberal state with regard to marijuana possession and usage in your own home. I’m cool with that although I’m a food junkie so adding marijuana to the mix would simply exacerbate my issues. Oh yeah and my job prohibits it. So problem solved.

So if you indulge in a little ganja now and then – hey, smoke it if you got it. Yet if you drive down the highway with a bong on your lap taking hits as you drive, you are a complete moron. And when several citizens call to report your stupid ass, simply putting the bong under a coat in your passenger seat just before the office behind you turns her lights on to pull you over is a weak plan at best.

Personally I don’t believe we need to waste (if you pardon the pun) any jail space on your flea-ridden ass but I firmly believe you need a little walking / bus riding time under your belt.

Oh and your nasty patchouli is a) not making your drug use invisible and b) more annoying than the smell of stale marijuana smoke.

Stop The White On Rice Violence

Rice, at times a symbol of asceticism, will soon be a symbol of affluence.

The Great Rice Panic of 2008 is upon us, ladies and gentlepersons, and the Panic Blog is here to provide you moment by moment coverage of the ongoing side dish debacle from our PanicTracker9000 Mobile News Center (aka my SUV which is only two years younger than the SUV of my least favorite Los Anchorage panhandler).

My wife works at a BigAssed Membership Warehouse Store and these are her observations from the battlefield.

Thursday there were two people having a tug of war over the last BigAssed bag of rice and said bag ripped, spilling rice all over the aisle. Security, or the biggest loss prevention guy, had to separate the combatants. Oh yes, and someone else bought the damaged bag of rice.

Every morning people have been crowding the front doors prior to the store opening, ready to stampede like they’re at a Who concert. They shout to the employees going into work “hey, do you have any rice today?” People are taking rice out of other people’s carts in the store. There have been several fights.

It’s not just her store. Stores all over town are running out of rice. Small Fashionable Yuppie Asian Market didn’t have any white rice for sale, just small packets of wild rice. And wild rice isn’t even rice, it’s like twigs and dirt and stuff.

The Powers That Be tell us there is no actual shortage of rice just a perceived shortage. Well, brothers and sisters, perception is reality. It’s easy to be an existentialist in the foxhole of a Grain War.

Will this escalate into rampaging violence in the streets? Shall we form the Minute Rice Men? Will Uncle Ben have to gird his loins for battle? Where will this end?

Oh the humanity.

Myspace Code Generator

and hey, the Los Anchorage Daily News has a story today on the same topic.. great minds, eh? Here's the story:

Rumors of rice shortage spur daily rush at Anchorage stores

~~
Monk receiving breakfast rice in begging bowl photo: www.kheper.net

Uncle Ben photo: www.racewire.org

I know crazy. Professional dog folks – they crazy

I've been really busy lately with the house buying thing (we might be closing any day now) but I have a few seconds for a rant about crazy ass dog people.

Don't get be wrong, I'm a dog person. I was not born into it but my wife is a dog person and I converted when I got married. I even promised to raise our children as dog people.

It's not the traditional dog people I have a problem with. But as with any movement it's the ultra-fundamentalists which screw everything up for everyone.

Recently my mother in law shopped online for reputable dog breeders so that she could replace her two beloved and relatively recently departed pets. She found one in California who was willing to sell her a show-quality miniature schnauzer for a huge bag full of money. You'd think that would be the end of it, right?

Nope.

There was a long interview process and she would have had to agree to show the dog a certain number of times and not get the dog fixed and do a trillion and one other little things. In order to get a dog from a responsible breeder and not a puppy mill, she agreed to all of this.

Then the breeder in question got wind of the fact that my mother in law was looking for a second dog who wasn’t from that breeder. That's when the dog shit hit the fan and word went out on the internet that my mother in law was trying to buy show dogs and take them to Alaska to start her own puppy farm.

So they refused to sell her the dog. And they spread the word to all the other breeders that my mother in law was Satan and they black-balled her. No one would sell my mother in law a freakin' dog. Did I mention that these dogs would have cost a big bag of money? Not Benjamins – we're talking "big ones."

My mother in law has since found a perfectly nice (although I think slightly less than show quality) puppy from a breeder in Alaska.

It's a good thing those Californicators didn’t sell her the puppy and THEN decide they didn't like her. Because imagine getting your dog repo'd.

That sort of thing happens. They repo your DOG!

(the following has had all the names changed to avoid any legal action – plus for purposes of this blog I consider myself a satirist)

A famous Hollywood comedian and talk show host who I'll refer to as Helen TheGiving got a dog from a dog rescue organization I'll call "Bitches and Bitches." Helen's dog didn't get along with Helen's cats (or whatever) and after some amount of professional training Helen decided to gift the dog to a member of her staff. This staff member happens to have less than three but more than one child whose ages are less than 14 but more than 10.

Either you have read the news or you can guess what happened next - the B & B folks hear about the unauthorized transfer of ownership and go repossess the dog.

From the loving family.

And they refuse to reunite the dog with the second family under any reapplication process because they have children under 14 which is apparently potentially dangerous for smallish dogs.

Okay, I understand a contract was signed saying if the dog didn’t work out in Helen's happy home that she'd take the dog back to the rescue organization, but hello! It's not like Helen gave the dog to Michael Vick. And isn’t yanking the dog back from a loving home stressful on the dog too?

It seems to me that while the B & B folks want to stand on principle and not be pushed around by the Hollywood elite (they must watch a lot of Bill O'Reilly) they probably should give in on this one and at least pretend to be the better people.

~

This rant should be over but no such luck.

Because of irrational wing-nuts on the other side I have to tell you very clearly that I do not hate these dog rescue ladies. I think they screwed up but I don't wish them any ill.

The B & B ladies have gotten death threats over this whole thing. And they have had the media all over their retail store screwing up their actual non-rescue pet care business. And they have had to shut down both their rescue website and their business website either due to the huge volume of traffic or to the level of internet hate thrown their way.

For the love of Dog, ladies and gentlemen, grow the hell up and act like adults.

Hoist By His Internet Petard

One day last week we got a call from a woman in a Midwest state (think cheese) requesting we do a welfare check on her boyfriend who lives in our fair city.

She was concerned because he calls her every night yet last night he had not called. Oh yeah, and this is an internet boyfriend; she’s never met him. She knows his address and his cell phone number plus his birth year and what kind of 2007 truck he bought. And she’s very very worried.

We’re obligated to have officers go out on the off-chance that Mr. Lovemonkey@hotlove.com has fallen down and cannot get up. It’s not necessarily a “we want to go” thing but it’s definitely a “for liability reasons we have to go out” thing.

It’s for this reason alone that it’s a special kind of magic when we knock on the door of Mr. Lovemonkey and his fiancé answers. Oh yeah and he’s 6 years older than his internet paramour thinks. And he drives a 2002.

Lest you think we dropped the dime on him in front of his fiancé, we did not. The responding officer, who is regulation size, decided that since Mr Lovemonkey is 6’5 and 350lbs and his fiancé was not much smaller that we’d let Mr. Lovemonkey explain why we were there (after we had left).

I'm thinking somone is going to get their Match.com money back.

Let Your Freak Flag Fly !!

Bill would ban anatomically explicit vehicle decorations in Maryland

Updated: 2:14 p.m. HT Feb 23, 2007

ANNAPOLIS, Md. - Fake bull testicles and other anatomically explicit vehicle decorations would be banned from Maryland roads under a bill pending in the state legislature.

The measure was filed in the General Assembly on Monday by Delegate LeRoy E. Myers Jr., who says children shouldn't be exposed to giant plastic gonads dangling from pickup truck trailer hitches. The bill also would ban displaying images of naked human breasts, buttocks or genitals, with offenses punishable by fines of up to $500.

"It's time to take a stand," Myers told The (Hagerstown) Herald-Mail.

This bill died of on its own after the bad publicity but it reminds me of the benefits of freedom of speech.

I firmly believe that people should have the right to hang plastic testicles from their vehicles. I also believe that people should proudly display their Grillz.

You know why?

I could engage everyone I meet in meaningful conversation, observe their actions, and, after a sufficient period of observation, render an opinion on that person's character.

Or…

I could take one look at a set of plastic testicles or a flashy set of Grillz and immediately judge that person to be, at best, an idiot.

As a fundamentally lazy guy I appreciate folks who display their plastic testicles proudly. Brave men and women fought for your right to cling to Junior High humor long into adulthood.

I'd rant more but I've got to put that last eBay bid on the pair of platform "pimp boots" with the fish tanks in the heels. I wouldn’t want MY freedom of speech to go to waste.

MSNBC story
Followup NBC4 story
Grillz Guy
Grillz Models
Bumper Nuts
Pimp Costumes: Boots