Let Your Freak Flag Fly !!

Bill would ban anatomically explicit vehicle decorations in Maryland

Updated: 2:14 p.m. HT Feb 23, 2007

ANNAPOLIS, Md. - Fake bull testicles and other anatomically explicit vehicle decorations would be banned from Maryland roads under a bill pending in the state legislature.

The measure was filed in the General Assembly on Monday by Delegate LeRoy E. Myers Jr., who says children shouldn't be exposed to giant plastic gonads dangling from pickup truck trailer hitches. The bill also would ban displaying images of naked human breasts, buttocks or genitals, with offenses punishable by fines of up to $500.

"It's time to take a stand," Myers told The (Hagerstown) Herald-Mail.

This bill died of on its own after the bad publicity but it reminds me of the benefits of freedom of speech.

I firmly believe that people should have the right to hang plastic testicles from their vehicles. I also believe that people should proudly display their Grillz.

You know why?

I could engage everyone I meet in meaningful conversation, observe their actions, and, after a sufficient period of observation, render an opinion on that person's character.

Or…

I could take one look at a set of plastic testicles or a flashy set of Grillz and immediately judge that person to be, at best, an idiot.

As a fundamentally lazy guy I appreciate folks who display their plastic testicles proudly. Brave men and women fought for your right to cling to Junior High humor long into adulthood.

I'd rant more but I've got to put that last eBay bid on the pair of platform "pimp boots" with the fish tanks in the heels. I wouldn’t want MY freedom of speech to go to waste.

MSNBC story
Followup NBC4 story
Grillz Guy
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Pimp Costumes: Boots