Friday, July 01, 2005

As Seen On TV

Here are some great and not so great items you can find on AsSeenOnTV.com.

First:

The Magic Bullet blender





This is a truly great appliance. My inlaws gave my wife and I one just prior to her gastric bypass surgery but I probably use it more than she does. I easily use it twice a day. It’s great for home-made frappaccinos and protein drinks. The only drawback is that the shipping to Alaska is a killer. Look for a “free shipping” sale.

~~

Next is a dream come true:

The Chocolate Fondue Fountain.




Holy cow! I’d beg and plead for one but I don’t really want to weigh 500lbs. With one of these, I soon would.

But in a calorie free world, would I want one? Does a fat baby fart?

~~

Then we drift into the absurd:

The Spoutin




Perhaps it was how I was raised, but how often is this a problem in your house? How often have you said, “You know, the only thing that would make my life complete would be to have my own water fountain.”

~~

And to save the best for last, prepare yourself for what the French call “the piece of resistance”:

Jenna's Hot Trimmer





Really, it’s the “hot” part of it that scares me. Although I’ve thought about leaving a bunch of homemade coochie-do templates in the co-ed bathroom at my office along with one of those tiny bikini razors. Oh well, practical jokes never were my strong suit.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've often thought about getting the "magic bullet". The info-mercial sure sold me...but I don't think I'd use it as much as they say/show. I'd get stuck on (remember only) 1 receipe, and only use it once a year.

Anonymous said...

Spountin.

Imagine: Old house, built circa 1940. Dishwasher, Hobart Model, Roll Away, hose attaches to water faucet in kitchen using a recoiling length.

Faucet fatigues over time, and metal cracks while you run the dishwasher, unaware while in your upstairs bedroom that downstairs your faucet is now a Spountin. (For 40 minutes or so, the length of time of the cycle of the dishwasher).


Damnit I wish I had patented it, but I just thought it was a lunatic fringe way of destroying all the wood in my kitchen cabinets and floor.

Go figure.

J-bro

Jen said...

OK, I've never wanted to shave my woohoo hair into shapes. But, if I did I certainly wouldn't call some 1-800 number and tell the "Operator Standing By" all about it, and then give him/her not only my credit card number, but my name and street address, too (I'm just betting they don't ship to P.O. Boxes, you know how they are.)

My goodness!

Abster said...

LOL!

Hahaha!!! The Magic Bullet sounds great, especially since I'm hoping to lose even more weight.

BTW, thanks for dropping by my poetry blog!

Anonymous said...

Kid of the 70's here, we had something that was just like the "Spoutin" in our bathroom.

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