Sunday, August 21, 2005

There Is No “U” in CSI

I’m not the spokesman for my department, my section, my city, or anyone but myself. That being said, let me give the internet community a dose of reality:

You love the television show CSI, I love CSI, everyone loves CSI (even Raymond loves CSI) but, dear readers, take it with a grain of salt. In fact, take two grains; they are small.

Last week a man called reporting an unknown subject or subjects had thrown a rock through his car window and stolen some of the contents while the car was parked outside of his residence. The man was transferred to our report taking section where efficient and pleasant clerks took the initial report information over the phone.

This was normally where the police involvement would end. This victim, like many others, requested an officer follow up to take fingerprints.

The responding officer looked at the rock and said it was doubtful he would be able to get a print off of a rock.

The complainant said “I watch CSI, I expected you to get out your super-glue tent and raise fingerprints that way.”

Two things:

A) Finger prints are mostly water based. Rocks and other porous surfaces suck it in. Rocks and dashboards are also hard to take prints off of because of their uneven surfaces.

B) If you watch CSI, you’ll notice that the crimes they deal with are HOMICIDES. You can pretty much bet that if bullets are not flying and /or people aren’t dead, you’ll not see a super-glue tent. Simple rule: Murder and Mayhem, yes. Stolen John Tesh CDs, no.

One more thought pointed out by a highly respected coworker “Officer Trainiac:” Even if an officer managed to get a crystal clear print from a tool or rock or a Grand Funk Railroad 8-track, the crime labs at all levels of government are so overwhelmed with evidence for cases that are going to trail that a technician would never even examine the print unless a prosecutor or DA requested it.

Furthermore, a DA/Prosecutor would never prosecute a case based solely on a fingerprint on a tool. The single print would not “prove” the print owner was the person holding the tool when the window was broken. They will not even request the print to be identified unless there is a suspect in custody. The print would only be used for supportive evidence to prove the guy who had been arrested was guilty.

To recap: If you are a victim of crime, even misdemeanor theft, report it. Documentation is necessary for all sorts of reasons, not the least of which to support a claim to an insurance company. Also, if the police do happen to catch the suspects (juveniles or hard-core drug addicts usually) with stolen property then they can return it to the rightful owners.

But please, don’t expect models in jumpsuits to come with lasers and electrostatic fiber collection equipment on every crime. Most jurisdictions have limited resources to solve the felony crimes, let alone the misdemeanors.

As smussyolay might say, "it's all about the Benjamins, G."

7 comments:

Lindsey said...

Holy cow, you mean they can't process the fingerprints during a 2 minute commercial break? lol

By the way, you must be writting this in the future, it says it was posted today, at 07:13 pm lol. Its like seeing the future lol :)

PS Tell Will thanks for reading my blog, Im always excited when I get comments :)

TEN33GIRL said...

In California, when property is run to check if its stolen, a book is referenced that supplies codes for every possible item imaginable.
In this book there is a code for vibrators. VIBRATORS!
People actually reported they're stolen vibrators enough times that a code had to be issued for it!

I agree that you should report it if your a victim of a crime. But come on people...let them keep your vibrators.

I mean, would you really want it back?? ;p

Sistinas said...

OMG!
“I watch CSI, I expected you to get out your super-glue tent and raise fingerprints that way.”

*snort*
Why do people think that tv shows are reality? Just backs up my theory that PEOPLE ARE STOOOPID...

Lois Lane said...

Wait a tic... so you are saying my Barry Manilow 8 track is NEVER going to be found??? WTF!
BTW, loved the story below about Sherry! What a funny situation to be in!
Lois Lane

Unknown said...

Aside from being a fellow Alaskan, I voted for you because your blog is cool.

Black Eyed Gurl said...

RIGHT ON ERIC!! As a fingrprint person I have been asked to process the most retarded evidence on earth (we had a defense lawyer once ask if we could get a print off of a chunk of meth, yes I said it, a chunk of meth which was about 1 inch square). Although we have gotten useful prints off of rocks and bricks it take special equipment like dye stains and lasers to detect them, which 99% of departments don't have (and one of ours is broken, but there's no money to fix it). I love the CSI effect, it has made the public so delusional!!

Anonymous said...

Hello Friend! I just came across your blog and wanted to
drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with
the information you have posted here.
Keep up the great work, you are providing a great resource on the Internet here!
If you have a moment, please make a visit to my term life insurance rate site.
Good luck in your endeavors!