The Blogging Thing Explained

If you have a blog or already know your way around the blogosphere, then this little ditty isn’t for you.

The information provided is certainly not an expert analysis of bloggery; it’s just what I have picked up in the month since I started.

Blogs: short for web-log. Usually an online journal, sometimes an online diary of rants or political speech. I'm not much for politics – or at least commenting daily on them – so mine is a journal of sorts. If you are a constant reader, you’ll know my blog is really all about forcing myself to write a little every day (or more than a little if I am inspired or have the time). If I do it long enough I’ll have a bunch of dispatch stories which I can weave into a book or a play or a screenplay or whatever. Or not. The point is to write.

Where the heck do you find these other blogs? The first few I found by clicking “Next Blog” on the top toolbar of my own blog. After skipping past a bunch of boring teenie-boppers and wannabe pundits, I found This Surreal Life. From there I looked at the blogs she liked. And so on and so on.

How did you know you had been quoted in blogs you had not previously read? Site Meter tells me how many times my blog gets read and by which IP address. It also tells me if someone linked from another page or by searching for something in a search engine (honest to dog, someone got to my site by searching for "tits" on technocrati.com - big disappointment I'm sure). It doesn’t tell me who exactly is reading my stuff, but I can usually figure out a stranger from a relative.

I try to comment on your blog but it appears that one has to be a member of Blogger.com to not comment anonymously. Well, the “other” button should work. Put your name in and comment away. If not, just comment anonymously and add your name in the text. I do love comments. When I read something particularly interesting in someone else’s blog, I try to throw a comment their way. It really is rewarding to get some feedback.

Why do you insist on using the word “really” all the time, and what’s up with the semicolons? “Really” is a bad habit. Semicolons are beautiful so I try to use them correctly; quite often I succeed.

Isn’t all this blogging just a big circle-jerk by pseudo-intellectual navel-gazers who don’t have the talent to actually get published? Probably. Quality navel-gazing can be a career in its own right. See: David Sedaris, Spaulding Gray, Henry Rollins, Dave Barry, Lenny Bruce, et al.

So you want to be a published writer when you grow up? That would be nice. I dream of getting a check for enough money to buy a German luxury sedan for a piece of writing, although I’d probably wet myself with glee if someone gave me a check for enough to buy a one year subscription to “In Bed with Susie Bright” on Audible.com.

Is this the best topic you could come up with today? Yep. It’s 1:15 am so I can always whip something else up if this doesn’t seem adequate.

I’ve used a few semicolons; that in itself makes me smile.