Web Fingered Woman

I took a call from a man who was reporting his wife or girlfriend as a missing person. She was actually just out messing around on him, which brought to mind all those great blues songs about women who did their men wrong and the men who loved them despite their faults. She also had webbed fingers.

I mentally shifted gears, imagining myself as Eric "Blind Muddy Melon" Anderson, aged bluesman, playing some old time Robert Johnson-esque song about love for my web-fingered woman. This is that song.

~~

I’ve got a web-fingered woman
and I love her, yes I do.
I’ve got a web-fingered woman
and I love her, yes I do.
And if I every lost my baby,
I just don’t know what I would do.

She’s got four toes on her left foot
and two toes on the right.
.She’s got four toes on her left foot
and two toes on the right.
She’s my pretty baby and I love her all the night.

(add nice guitar noodling)
(slight tempo change for this next section)

She’s slightly cross-eyed,
She’s got a cleft palate,
She looks like she got hit in the face
with a croquet mallet.
She’s smart and she’s funny,
I’ll say in her defense
But with teeth so bad that
She could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.

(back to the traditional blues riff)

But she’s my web-fingered woman
and I love her, yes I do.
She’s my web-fingered woman
and I love her, yes I do.
And if I every lost my baby,
I just don’t know what I would do.